18 February, 2010

The white world

I was living in an authoritarian world where things were tightly controlled and sanctioned, and had an eerie feel of everything being fine... and most people seemed to think it was just that.

There were lots of little kids, and a fair few of us, I saw myself as a teenage boy who had a couple of friends I'd hang out with. We dressed in uniforms that were mostly white, and we looked very clean, our hair was very tidy.

It seemed that what we did most, was study and carry text books and write a lot.

A group of about twenty of us students sat on the roof of a low building, at wooden picnic chairs and sorted through our piles of books on the tables, everyone seemed to be smiling and generally happy.

The little ones walked around in groups, and they all played with a soft white rubber which was like marshmallow, for some it was a very high bouncing ball, and one girl had a balloon of an animal, it was solid, not filled with gas, and sort of looked Japanese... more of a soft shape than an animal.

The rubber stuff, whatever it was, was part of the problem.

I didn't like the kids being herded around like they were, they seemed ok, but there was something going on, and the rubber stuff... my friend bounced a small ball, and it ricoched past me, I scowled at him, I hated it, and he knew. Both He and the Girl who was with me had read something I'd written in my textbook, I'd seen it somewhere... I cannot remember what it said, but it was deadly secret, something that if they found out, would land us in very hot water. I guarded that book with my life... but I didn't know what the text meant, neither did my friends.

What I seem to remember was, was there was this man, who was dirty and living alone, had found something out and was living like a vagrant. He'd written this on a wall somewhere, I think it was some sort of warning.

I think I felt that there was some truth in what was said, I felt very disturbed.

For a moment I turned my eyes away from the table, and when I looked back, my book was missing... My heart raced... and I looked up to see a student on another table flipping through my pages.

I ran to him and grabbed him, we fought and... I killed him, just like that... which was obviously a bad move, but what could I do?

There were these two serious men in light grey uniforms, I was sitting in a white room, on a low bench beside the wall, with my head down... held down... near my knees, and as I was questioned, I felt a sharp point drilling into the top of my head.

"And what did you do? you killed him? what was in the book?"

I sobbed and said "He was a good boy"

"He was a good boy?" the man said angrily.

And then a plastic thread was pushed into the hole and it attached itself to part of my brain.

On the other end of the plastic line was a thin silver rod, I couldn't see it, but I knew, somehow, that's what it was.

I have a vague memory of being taken somewhere in a vehicle.

And I woke.

04 February, 2010


Last nights dream was pretty wild and confused. It's summer here, and very steamy, really difficult to sleep and last night I retired at 4am... well yes, this morning.

I was out with my parents, and Mum, though quite old, wanted to play on those spinning things that kids play on in the park, they're made of metal and are flat on the top, you know the ones.

And she's got something like an iphone, and really mad about it, which is strange for her because she didn't go in for any of that.

She's spinning around on this equipment, stops and takes a photo and says that she has to tweet about it.

Mum isn't well, it's at the time that her health is failing and once in a while she throws up, not much, just a bit, and yet she's still happy as Larry and bouncing around like a child.

My Dad is there but seems to stay out of the picture.

Later we're at home and my Sister turns up, She's sick with cancer, Sadly she is in real life, and I remember how we were trying to make her comfortable.

I'd made a big bed of soft blankets, on the floor, which is strange.

Later I was outside in the back yard, and I heard my Sister call for Mum, Her voice seemed to come from the distance somewhere, the lane behind our property. I called Mum out to listen and it got fainter and fainter each time she called.

When I woke, I heard my cat crying in the kitchen, and her voice could have become my Sisters, in the dream.


07 December, 2009

The most disturbing Pr0n is the kind where someone in it looks like someone you know.

Many years back, I snuck off to the video rental place near us and managed to hire my first naughty movie (due to it's high rating, it should legally not have even been on the shelf).

The storyline was weird, three women planned to hypnotise the homeless man in the street and use him as their own personal stud who they'd "hire out" and thus get lots of money.

Now, because everyone had seen his face, they'd make him wear a bag over his head with eyes cut out... everyone needs a hobby.

Though there were scenes where he had the bag off, because he was also humping his bosses and they knew who he was, so what did it matter?


I'd met a friend via the computer... not the internet... Hrmm, I used to produce freeware floppy discs which would circulate through the community sort of virally, and this really nice guy who worked on a lavender farm, saw my name and contact details on one of my discs which a friend must've bought to his place. So he wrote to me and asked if he could come over, "Please do" I said, so we made a date.

When he finally got here, he, um, well he looked like the guy in that video, and I felt sort of embarrassed. Oh no, it wasn't him, the one in the film was American and my Mate was Aussie and younger. Anyway I just couldn't look at him and felt really awkward... and if he picked up the vibe then maybe he wondered what was going on.
it could have blown a really great friendship.

Gawd I was so shy then, so what if my friend was a pr0nstar?, I'm sure there must be many out there who are just ordinary, people who are worth having as friends, right?


Alien Probes, or How I survived a Pentax up my Arse.

Today was my colonoscopy which I had to have before we could proceed with the operation to reverse what was leftover from the cancer surgery in 2005, a thing called an ileostomy which basically is, as the nurses explain it "Your bottom in another place" (just what I always wanted) Yes, I've heard the "They tore you a new arsehole" joke, The ability to crap on your own penis is a wonderful thing.

So this is what happened, Before a colonoscopy they give you something to drink which is like two litres of thin KY jelly and tastes as nice, two laxettes and two fizzy, salty pouches which is like beroccas evil twin brother. What this amounts to is something like French Nuclear testing in your bowel, You are now fully capable, as Dad delicately put it, of "Shitting through the eye of a needle".

You "GO" (like NOW or you'll be sorry) about every 15 minutes or so till about 2am, at which point, you think you've finished, but don't be fooled.

But... Because I was not connected down there where they had to look, I thought I was getting off scot free, and how wrong was I.

Because I got an Enema instead.

And spent quite a disturbingly long amount of time on the dunny, wondering when it would be safe to leave.

Even when I did leave, I had to return at least five more times.

But here was the weird part.

I was called to the room where they do the procedure and was asked a few basic questions (Much of it had been done already).

Then I got a needle in the back of my hand, which was a bit "ow" but not too bad, and once it was in, it was fine.

I had a nice warm blanket over me and felt very comfy, and was given an oxygen mask.

The nurse asked my if I was feeling sleepy, and well, there was a mild, mild sense that something might be happening, I said yes, but it was kind of a lie.

I opened my eyes, not that I remember closing them, and discovered that I was in another room, and someone said something like "Ahh you're awake, how are you feeling?"

I didn't feel groggy or anything, it felt as though someone had done the cleanest edit ever, just like a movie, I was one place, and then the other.

"Is it over?" I asked, "Surely not" I thought.

But yes, it was all over.

I was asked to get up and the nurse took me to a comfy chair and got me a nice coffee and some tasty sandwiches and that was... well, that.

Seriously folks, if the doc suggests a colonoscopy, trust me, Dentist = fear factor 4,
Colonoscopy = Fear factor 0.1 Rooly Rooly.


20 October, 2009

Capture problem (Pinnacle/Vegas)

I hope someone out there can help me with this. I'm trying to capture video from analogue tapes (digital video is so much easier), anyway. on loan to me is a Pinnacle USB capture card and I'm trying to use Sony Vegas 9.0b to capture... only... to get this error" :The device "pinnacle 710-USB" could not be opened. Please make sure that it is turned on and not being used by another application or user" Any idea?

I use Windows XP.

18 October, 2009

Halloween fails in Australia

I think that however the Aussie lolly makers (not candy) try, I don't think they'll convince us that Halloween is anything more than a weird northern hemisphere things that us Aussies don't want.

I've seen them try in recent years to get us all enthusiastic about something that went down worse than a jar of iSnack 2.0. Dressing up supermarkets with halloween gear and making suggestions for the day on their music track.

Halloween doesn't work in part because it's a seasonal celebration, any follower of the wiccan philosophy would tell you that it's an end of summer thing... but here where the seasons are reversed... and our pumpkins are still growing... it doesn't work.

We're loosing our own culture and our lingo left right and centre, because people don't seem to care enough. We need to be more like us and less of what we're not.

What's next? Thanksgiving?

If you don't want halloween in Australia, speak up and speak up now. Tag messages on twitter with #OzHalloweenFail and let people know how you feel.


02 October, 2009

New Life On Line

Featuring the man who led the development team for the new virtual world BLUE MARS.
and we ask what Gen Y thinks of online dating. You can be part of the show too. Upload your material. And spread the word