15 April, 2009

In Bed

I was watching my avatar sitting up in bed, sometimes it's as though he's thinking his own throughts, and I wonder what they might be. Yes I know he's not real, but he's an extension of my soul, and as strange as it might sound to some, I care about the little guy.

Wolfie is who I am, who I've probably always been. But I can't change my shape in real life. I can present myself as my inner self to people in secondlife.

This real life version of me, what people see, isn't me... I'm imprisoned inside a human body.

And the game they call "real life" is not my game, I don't fit there, I feel wrong, and I'm not comfortable talking about my feelings with others as much as I can do online.

Real Life isn't as great as it's cracked up to be, people are having a real hard time out there, losing loved ones, getting awful news, witnessing tragedy and winding up in hospital.

I worry about what might happen if I was cut off from secondlife and my Wolfie, I think I'd fall into a well of depression, it would be a hard loss. How would I express myself like that anymore?

Sure, there are other virtual worlds, but when you look at them, they're mostly not user created, and there are no furries there.

I would have no interest in other virtual worlds if I "had to be" a choice of about five basic styles, I have a Human body now, it's the very thing I wish to escape.

I made a video of my avatar just laying in bed, which I'll make a nice video from, He looks at peace.


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