I am one of those people who have long since decided not to have kids, I don't see why I need them, afterall, the human race is a plague of it's own. Had I been an endangered species, I would have had a solid reason for going ahead with the whole dating and mating routine, but in this world, it's been ruined due to over-breeding there's billions and billions of people, why make any more? there's no point to it.
Sometimes I ponder the situation and sometimes I get upset about it, but I realise that 90% of my worries are based on cultural expectations, peer pressure, that you must find someone to marry and add to the pudding club and the clock is ticking and all of that.
The rest is instinct.
My instinct is just a wild animal, and it's feelings are quite valid, and most of the time it's listened too, especially when hungry, sleepy or needs to water a tree.
Sometimes it whines for a mate, and fatherhood, and I say "No", so it blubbers away in the corner. poor dear, it's not it's fault, I love that part of myself so I can't be cruel to it.
What evens things out though is a Saturday morning trip to the supermarket, where parents bring along their kids, who throw tanties [tantrums].
The song of the supermarket has a melody of middle of the road rock, and a chorus which screams "BUT I WANT IT!!!".
Included within this song is a true diva, a little girl who performs epic tanties, The kind of tanties so grand that if there were tanties at the Olympics, She would get gold everytime. Her tanties are so prodigious that even Veruca Salt would feel like a rank amateur.
That's when I tell My sad, little puppy of an instinct "See That?... Hear That?... That's why".
Then my instinct remembers how quiet it likes things to be, it's sleepy time and it's food, and realises that it doesn't want kids as much as it thought.
Years back I told my Mother that I didn't like babies, in fact I really really don't like them at all. She was horrified, I think she thought everyone liked babies.
My Dad said "Ahh it's a different matter when it's your own" and I replied by saying that there was no chance of that happening.
If I could have some soft, fuzzy being which didn't have a voice as loud as a chainsaw and "that smell" then I think I could have raised it.
My Dad bought home a penguin once, yes a real one, it appeared to be lost, so he bought it home... Yes it was probably the wrong thing to do, but anyway.... it stank of fish, one of my least favourite smells, and yet I would have still taken care of it, even to the point of getting myself smelling fishy, but babies "gross me out".
I think Dad remained optimistic that one day I'd find someone, settle down and have kids, but My Mother let me be as I am... We'd often talk about marriage breakdowns and everything going wrong, it's a risk, a massive risk for anyone to take. She was always concerned about the kids in those relationships and also, surprisingly, How the Man often comes out worse for it.
She would say "Don't have kids, You've got your whole life to enjoy, go out and do everything you wanted".
You see, Mum dearly wanted to be a nurse, but when My Sister and I came along, that threw a spanner in the works for her.
She didn't regret having me, we were extremely close, but I was sad that She had missed out on a lot because of me.
There's enough people on the planet, heed my Mum's words, go out there and enjoy yourself, why take risks due to peer pressure?