21 October, 2008

The Emperor's New Tucker ( nouveau crappo )

I still have the flu, and I suppose I'm feeling a bit grumpy, so let your wolfy have his grump, please.

I was thinking about food, restaurant food... which is something I'm usually happy with unless they go all wanky and offer food that probably shouldn't be eaten.

I dispise the dish which has a frilly, decorated whatsit in the centre, while dribbled around the edge is a ring of yellow crap that could be chicken vomit for all I know.

If you're anything like me, it feels like your tummy has fallen out around seven.

Your Wolfy gets like that a lot and was worse as a teenager, who damn well needed a pile of food on his plate which could hide an inflated footy.

Nothing pleases me more than to be seated at a pub and get a lovely, whopping great, Chicken Parma... With Veggies, not overdone thanks, and a proper lemon squash... not Solo or any of that, Yes I know it's impossible to get these days, but I can hope and I can remember.

But there people out there who will pay more for fish eggs and quail [roasted sparrow]

* Yes I realise it's not actual sparrow, but is there much of a difference, I mean, once you've sucked the pea sized bit of meat off, is there any point arguing?

So in future, if any of you have the idea to take me to a restaurant for the evening, I won't be a happy lad if the food is too posh.



  1. I hate wanky noveau cuisine too, or more accurately no cuisine. A vast white plate of nothingness; it's like you remove the garnish, and discover that the garnish *is* the meal.

    I have fond memories of my first trip to FNQ (Far North Queensland) with a group of bird/plant watchers. We stayed at the Lake Eacham Hotel on the Atherton tablelands; the accommodation is fairly basic, but it's a nice location. The then owners put on the most amazing smorgasbord of food: a full spread of cooked breakfast items; soups, roasts, casseroles, vegetables etc. for dinner; and a great spread of desserts - absolutely brilliant country cooking, and far more than we could eat (and we really tried.) They were so efficient I got the feeling that this was the regular thing, not just a one off. Alas, the hotel has changed hands so such delights are no more. :(

    The only weird thing is they said that since we were from down south, they lit the open fire for us...

  2. That sounds wonderful.

    Years back, when there was a river there, Mum decided we should have a trip on the Murray Explorer.

    Food was amazing, Breakfast was huge, eggs done in every way you can imagine. bacon, most of the familiar cereals etc.

    Lunch was huge again and tea in the evening was amazing, I ate like a horse while I was there.

    I was fortunate to have two trips on it.

    The only thing that bothered me was one night they decided to go with seafood, entirely... and I hate fish, but that's no reflection on them.

    The second time we were more aware of this and got things worked out so that I didn't go without on the last night.

  3. Check out my tucker blog, no chicken chunder or frilly green bits there, but still good tasty food. %) Heya Wolfie yeah I do actually like presentation for food but - as you say - there's a place for over the top and that's at a cooking competition not at the table... As long as it doesn't look like it was served by throwing in a grenade and catching the fallout on a plate I can eat it....

    Oh yeah http://tedamenu.blogspot.com/


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