Feelings

I don't want this blog to just be about Secondlife, but to also be about how I'm feeling, things I've done and all of that.

You all know that I think Secondlife is great, and I have been especially supportive of ABC island, but sometimes I just can't seem to come up with anything useful and I get very frustrated with Secondlife, ABC Island and Rockit.

Rockit is a tough one, Each week I try very hard to come up with about fifty *interesting and entertaining* questions about music, and I'm running really low, especially on personal knowledge.

Wikipedia has been incredibly helpful, It gets heavy use when I'm writing Rockit.
I've often gone looking for something basic like "who was the drummer in Foreigner" and discovered a delicious bit of trivia on their wiki page which I've used instead.

I would really like to keep the show running, but it means I have to do hours of research and checking, and trying to get my brain to think of songs, names and artists... and often it just won't get into gear.

I wonder if Uni students feel this way before a big exam?

Rockit also needs more promotion, I would like a lot more new people to participate, or simply be in the audience to watch... The more people who watch or play rockit, the more people would be using ABC Island... which is, afterall, the point.

Rockit was made for ABC Island.

It would be nice if there was a method of broadcasting Secondlife out to a website.
SLCN have done this, but they use voice... but I can't... I need text chat so that I can check answers if there's an argument about an answer being right or not.

What I've thought about is to create a way to see the video in one panel, and have text come
up in a panel beside it, that might work.

If ABC have programming at their island, they really need a larger audience... they shouldn't be disheartened with the current limit as someone will eventually crack that problem.

I like Secondlife a lot, it has a lot of potential for a lot of good... but lately I find myself feeling tired and grumpy, feeling like I could do more but just cant make my mind come up with any new ideas.

I'm trying to get people in for either a Rural community get together once a week, or a weekly science chat... afterall, the CSIRO sessions were brilliant, and it's clear that people want more of that.

What I'm saying is that I'm finding secondlife a bit of a burden, and I need others who are on the same wavelength to help me, because I'm drowning.

I've been feeling pretty sad lately, and I'm not sure why, and that's not helping my creativity either. when some people get like that, they write wonderful music, but I feel as though I'm stuck in mud and can't move.

My Mother died on a very prominent date, 31st of October.
If I were around a bunch of other Aussies then the date would be easier to forget, but because I'm online, with British and American friends, I can't forget it.

Stereotypes bother me, but the thing where males can't remember dates is very true with me, Numbers and I simply aren't friends. At times I've been asked how old I am, or for my birthdate, and find for a minute that I've forgotten.

I forgot the date Dad died, and I think I'm better off for it.

There are other factors for my sadness though, not always so easily explained to anyone other than my closest friends... Marko and Joe, If it wasn't for you, I'd be in the nut house by now.
You both know me better than anyone, not just know, but really understand... partly because I think that you both have similar feelings.

I fought hard against the cancer, and I did it mostly because I didn't want my Mother to witness the death of her child. My Mother had experienced too many horrors in her life, Including knowing that her brother was in a Japanese prison camp in WWII. I couldn't die, for Her.

But now She's gone and I'm here, and I'm often left wondering why, and for what reason.

Did you see that show last night, the one where Donna had the black bug on her back which made her turn right instead of left? I think I turned right at some point and ended up here,
what scares me is there's no way to go back and fix it.

I have a malamute who won't let me out of her sight, I saved her life... I'm not sure if she knows, but sometimes I think she does. She gives me more love than I can imagine a person giving me.
I don't really trust people love... people can suddenly change their minds, but a dog simply loves you till they die. I'm glad I have her with me... I love her too, but my love can't possibly be as great as hers.

Wolfie!